i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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