it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
you never un-have a 4some
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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