I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
