some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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