Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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