Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
And then he peed in my hair
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