I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
