butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
