At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
