is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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