We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
