so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
