Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
