He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
