I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize