Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
