oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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