do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
