Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why did my mother make you get naked?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
