My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
