Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
