I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
