hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
