This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
