at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
