Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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