god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
