Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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