Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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