I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
