Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I just put wine in my tea
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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