I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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