so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
