Sry I called you an 8
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
