I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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