Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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