last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
