he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
