just tell him i said nine months
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
