carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
