All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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