Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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