we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
