ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
