if i died would you start the facebook group?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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