Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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