Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
