YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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