Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
