I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
