I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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