I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
