I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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