i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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