So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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