I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
