Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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