Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize