I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
