I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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