just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
